Stepping Through
by DDRling
Summary: Satine is alive, but both of the lovers have new lives now.... R&R!!! =)
1. 1

Note: PLEASE review! This is my first fan fic! =)  
  
  
  
My blood ran cold at her hurtful words: "I am the Hindi goddess… and I choose the maharaja."  
  
How could she say these words to me? She who said that she would run away with me… would leave the Moulin Rouge and the Duke and begin a new life where all we needed was each other and now…. What was happening? I could feel my chest ache as she left my doorway and traveled down the staircase that would take her back towards the Moulin Rouge. It was the unmistakable feeling of my heart breaking.  
  
Toulouse tried his hardest to convince me that Satine still loved me. I wanted to believe him. I wanted it so much that I could hardly breathe when I thought of her. But the memory of her hollow eyes peering at me as she told me that she was returning to the Duke filled me with a feeling of hurt and betrayal… a feeling I wanted to forget.  
  
So I left Paris. I left the Moulin Rouge. I left behind my foolish past and went back to London, where my father was waiting with a smug look on his face. From then on I would do what he wanted of me. I didn't care anymore. Life was empty without Satine. I often dreamt of her descending from the ceiling, straight into my arms. I would reach for her cheek and she would rest it on my hand a little, while singing those words that had once meant so much to the two of us: "Come what may…" Then she would close her eyes and I would kiss her lightly, and suddenly the stars and moon appeared before us once again. I would grab her hand and we would soar through the sky- together… the way it was meant to be.  
  
But it was just a dream. She was not in my arms now, and she never would be again. She belonged to the Duke now, and he would give her everything she always wanted. Everything I could not as a penniless sitar player with a silly infatuation. She would become a star and forget about me.  
  
I considered killing myself.  
  
But that was not the answer. I had to go on with my life, no matter how empty I felt inside. I became a rather successful banker at the encouragement of my father. I no longer wrote poetry; no words ever came to my head. Days turned into months, and months into years, and I found that I did not think of Satine quite as often, and the pain in my chest was not quite as large as it once was.  
  
That is, until one day….  
  
I had written to Toulouse the month before. It was the first time I had ever done so, because I had wanted to forget all that was associated with the Moulin Rouge. But Toulouse was still my friend, and I wanted very much to hear from him.  
  
I received a letter that morning from Toulouse, and I was excited to learn how he and the other bohemian revolutionaries were. It was six years since I had left. I ran into my study, shut the door, sat down at my desk and hurriedly tore open the envelope.  
  
But when I read his words I dropped the letter to the floor in shock. 


	2. 2

NOTE: this chapter kinda… sucks actually (this is probably bad promo but i have to be honest lol) I didn't spend that much time on it. so please don't hold it against me. it'll get better =)  
  
*****  
  
I picked up the letter and reread his words:  
  
"…It was then that Zidler's heart gave in. The Moulin Rouge was no longer his anymore. The Duke had taken control of everything. He wanted everything done his own way, so he had pushed Zidler aside and made a travesty out of it. The nightclub was Zidler's heart and soul. So when that died, so did he.  
  
"Satine was devastated. Not only was her Harold gone, but also she never became the star that she had always longed to be. The Duke now keeps her locked up in the castle all day. No one ever sees her anymore except for when he throws an extravagant party now and then to showcase his prize.  
  
"But Christian… they have a daughter. She's two years old now. I saw her once when I went to their last party. She's beautiful. She looks just like her mother. Nothing at all like the Duke, luckily. I wish she could've been yours, Christian."  
  
* "So do I…" I thought to myself.  
  
"Satine is terribly unhappy. She no longer sparkles. Even though she has her daughter whom she loves, she has nothing else in this world. I'm worried about her, Christian. She still loves you. I know it more than anything. And she needs you. Please come back, Christian."  
  
*****  
  
I stopped reading and pondered Toulouse's words. I once again thought of her fair, smooth skin. And I once again thought of Satine's cold eyes as she turned away from me that final moment.  
  
I felt a soft kiss on the side of my neck and I jumped up. I quickly crumpled up Toulouse's note and stuffed it in my front pocket, but unfortunately she had seen it.  
  
"Since when do you not enjoy my kisses?" Amelie teased.  
  
"Oh! You startled me…" I looked down at the letter in my pocket. "I… I was just…"  
  
She laughed. "Never mind, darling. I understand. Official bank paperwork again." She gave me a peck on the cheek.  
  
I breathed a sigh of relief. I had never told Amelie about Satine and my experiences at the Moulin Rouge. She only knew that I had unsuccessfully traveled to Paris to become a writer.  
  
I looked at Amelie now. She had lovely features: large bright green eyes, long wavy hair, and a small sweet mouth. She was beautiful. "But not as beautiful as Satine," a voice stated inside of me. I looked away with shame.  
  
I did love Amelie very much; she was wonderful, and I never regretted marrying her. But part of me regarded her as simply a substitute for Satine… a part of me that I was ashamed of. Amelie adored me. I never understood why, but she did, and I was lucky to have such a wonderful companion by my side.  
  
"Darling, there's a dinner party being thrown by the Vancocks next Tuesday night. They asked me, and I told them I'd talk to you about it. What do you think?" She straightened my tie for me.  
  
"Sure. That'll be fine." She had decided to redo my tie because I had been sloppy, and when she was finished she looked up at me and smiled. I smiled back. But I still could not help thinking about the letter, even when Amelie wrapped her arms around my waist and kissed me.  
  
"Christian…." she said hesitantly. "I…."  
  
I smiled at her again. "Yes?"  
  
"Christian, do you think that… maybe… we could go visit Paris one day?…"  
  
My smile slowly faded. "Paris?"  
  
She bit her lip. "Well… I've never been there before, and I know it's supposed to be so beautiful, and I think it would be so great to go and all that…." Her voice drifted off and her eyes lowered. "I've just always wanted to see Paris."  
  
"What irony!" I thought to myself. To return to the place where I had had my heart shattered was something I did not want to do. But then I thought of Toulouse's words…. Was it possible that she loved me? That at this very moment she was thinking of me? No… it couldn't be. And besides, it was wrong to think these thoughts. Amelie was my wife, and I was extremely devoted to her and her alone. But how could I resist returning to Paris and confronting my past? Everything I had experienced then was over now. I had nothing to fear; the Moulin Rouge was empty and abandoned. My room overlooking the elephant was probably now occupied by another tenant. I could safely walk through the streets and turn my nose at all that had happened. And I would not visit Satine during my trip.  
  
I kissed Amelie on the cheek. "We'll leave as soon as possible."  
  
She squealed and gave me a tight hug. I had made her happy.  
  
It was decided. I would return to the Paris. I would return to the place where I had spent my happiest and worst moments. I would return to the Moulin Rouge… one… last… time….  
  
*****  
  
REVIEW! =) 


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